No RX Allopurinol, JOHN MOE'S POP-SONG CORRESPONDENCES, VOLUME XII.
By John Moe(mcsweeney's, 4/6/05)
CONCERNING JON BON JOVI, 20mg Allopurinol, WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE. Allopurinol japan, Attention, all law enforcement in the region:
I realize many of you have become cynical about the all-points bulletins issued for dangerous criminals. I'm sure you think they're essentially all the same and that only the names have changed, Allopurinol usa. But I urge you to pay close attention in your pursuit of Mr. Jon Bon Jovi, No RX Allopurinol. Allopurinol us, He's wanted. Wanted dead or live.
Who is Bon Jovi, 250mg Allopurinol. Well, Allopurinol canada, to begin with, he's a cowboy. No RX Allopurinol, Granted, it's fairly routine for cowboys to run afoul of the law, especially in the winter, when the work and money dry up and they've got time on their hands. Plenty of petty-theft and lewd-behavior calls, Allopurinol mexico. But that's not what we're up against. 30mg Allopurinol, Bon Jovi is no regular cowboy. He rides a horse made of steel. A steel horse, No RX Allopurinol. I am not shitting you, 1000mg Allopurinol. And don't think this is some sort of comical clunky robot horse with whimsical hydraulic sound effects and extraneous flashing lights. Allopurinol ebay, This thing is exactly like a Thoroughbred, only much larger and made from an incredibly resilient alloy. Bullets can't even penetrate this horse, Allopurinol overseas, much less stop it. No RX Allopurinol, Bon Jovi is also armed with a loaded six-string that he carries on his back. 100mg Allopurinol, Reports differ on whether he uses it as a sort of crossbow or whether it's actually a guitar that he plays with such shocking mastery as to render victims helpless. Regardless, take heed, Allopurinol craiglist.
There is other information I need to share with you about Bon Jovi. Allopurinol paypal, And no matter how callous you think you are to the attributes of criminals, you may want to brace yourself. Bon Jovi has almost superhuman abilities, No RX Allopurinol. Sure, 50mg Allopurinol, sometimes he sleeps, Allopurinol india, but sometimes he can go for days without doing so. Days. To compensate for this interruption in his circadian rhythms, 150mg Allopurinol, Bon Jovi has evidently crafted some sort of alcohol-based calendar, 500mg Allopurinol, where he can actually tell the day by the bottle that he drinks. Additionally, he's been known to drive all night just to get back home (his house has an adjoining cybertronic-horse barn), 10mg Allopurinol, so we're casting a pretty wide net. No RX Allopurinol, Also, according to intelligence we've gathered, sometimes when he's alone, all he does is think. 40mg Allopurinol, That's not a criminal act, mind you, but good to know, Allopurinol uk.
So why are we looking for Bon Jovi. 750mg Allopurinol, Why is he wanted, wanted dead or alive. A spree of face rocking, Allopurinol australia. Estimates vary as to how many faces have been targeted—some say 800,000, some say 1.2 million—but it is accepted as a fact that he has rocked every single face he has seen, No RX Allopurinol. Every one of them. 200mg Allopurinol, We're not even clear on a motive for this mass face rocking, although there are reports of Bon Jovi complaining of faces that "are so cold." Will he stop at a million faces. How many will be enough, Allopurinol coupon. We can't afford to find out. No RX Allopurinol, Now all this being said, if you should come in contact with Bon Jovi, do not look into his face. He will only rock it. And call for backup immediately. Bear in mind, the man has been everywhere, he stands tall, and he rides a steel horse.
Good luck to you all. At this point, I have to be honest, we're living on a prayer.
Sincerely,Sgt. H. Locklear.
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