Attention Bikers: Ride your bike to the brothel in Berlin and get 7% off all kinds of sex acts! I know, I know, I too I was under the impression that the demand for sex (and alcohol) was inelastic. Apparently some idiot/genius named Thomas Goetz, who probably didn’t go to a liberal arts college and [...]
THE RULES FOR THIS DEBATE ARE A LITTLE BIT DIFFERENT by Jonny Waldman Good evening from Hofstra University in New York, and welcome to this third and final presidential debate, sponsored by the Commission on Presidential Debates and by Taco Bell. I’m Jonny Waldman, a new media consultant hired by CBS News to improve ratings [...]
Inspired by a NY Times story about the history/use of the phrase “I’m [insert politico's name here], and I approve this message,” I came up with some of my own. But first, some primo examples: mouthful of a non sequitur: “I’m Mike Huckabee and I approved this message because Iowans have a right to know [...]
mccain: obama said he’d talk with ahmadinejad. that’s bad. obama: i didn’t say i’d have tea with him. mccain: talking with bad guys is stupid and dangerous. i’d never do that because smart people like henry kissinger would never do it. that’s my philosophy - WWHKD? obama: I’m pretty sure henry kissinger said he’d meet [...]
mccain: i take care of those veterans. obama: so do i. mccain: i take care of them more than you do. this bracelet was given to me by a veteran. it guides me in everything i do. obama: my veteran’s bracelet is bigger, and shinier and glows like in the Lord of the Rings. See? [...]
[from Craigslist] Manly Bike for Sale Date: 2008-07-22, 10:18AM Bike for sale What kind of bike? I don’t know, I’m not a bike scientist. What I am though is a manly guy looking to sell his bike. This bike is made out of metal and kick ass spokes. The back reflector was taken off, but [...]
LUKEWARM EBAY FEEDBACK (By Jonny Waldman) Depending on your definition of “good,” product arrived more or less as advertised!!! Postage was firmly attached to box!!!!! Seller does not have a criminal record!!! Product has no mold or mildew and does not smell like vomit!!!! Name and address on product were legible and spelled correctly!!! Bubble [...]
I know, I know, it’s not bike or goat related, but since I’m such a fan of awesome acronyms, I figured this was warranted. Courtesy of Spirit Air
‘Twas a funny week, this last one, on account of: a) Kasper Hauser, an SF comedy group responsible for KHraigslist (see above) and Sky Maul, among other silly stuff. (I challenge you to read the faux-craigslist ads without snorting/crying.) b) Robin Cooper’s ridiculous collection, “The Timewaster Letters.” c) Ken Kalfus’ sharp book, “A Disorder Peculiar [...]